I decided I’m going to do podcasts every week, maybe I’ll make it Thursdays?
Anyway, this blog is just for the women! I have a friend I met years ago in the water when I was surfing- if you remember the beach is one of my comfort places. Her name is Zita; she was born in Italy from Italian and Greek parents, and came here to America when she was a teen. I learned a lot about how women flirt and attract men through Zita- she is still, to this day, the first name that comes to mind when think of a woman who has absolute control over her dating life. Zita could absolutely control men through her flirting- she was able to direct her attraction signals to any man in the room and lure them into approaching her. This blog and pocast is a must for any woman.
Please listen to the podcast I attached below. ANY woman can learn A LOT from Zita:
How to Flirt effectively
How to use body language to send signals to men
How to control the room and the men in it
How to have complete control over her dating life.
Women really do have the power to determine who approaches them- shouldn’t you harness this power to entice the man you want to approach you?
Please feel free to make any suggestions for my future blogs and podcasts- I love to take requests. Enjoy this podcast:
Saturday, March 27
Monday, March 22
Ladies, Are You Available?
I took a leisurely walk to check my PO Box on Chestnut street as I do usually every day during the lunch hour when people spill out into the street. I make a habit of observing everything around me; the sights, the sounds and especially the people. As I make my way down 3rd I give a look and a smile to everyone that passes me by, and maybe even a “How are you?” if you give me a head nod. Every time someone acknowledges my ‘hello’, or even my existence, I look at the situation like it’s another opportunity to meet someone new. I’ve met a lot of people waiting at a red light, just striking up a conversation about a local restaurant, or asking their opinion about something timely in Philly. Every time I make myself available to have a conversation, I create an opportunity to meet someone new. I create opportunities!
So, now you understand my mindset. What actually happened on the way to my PO Box was unfortunately way too common. I passed exactly 42 women during my roundtrip- only two women actually acknowledged I was even there! I got one hello, and one head nod- all the others didn’t even make eye contact with me! Some had their heads buried in their BlackBerrys, or their eyes were glued to the ground. Now to add some comedy to my story, I am actually a good looking guy, tall, a good dresser and in great shape too. I’m only saying this because I think it would be more of a reason for the opposite sex to at least make eye contact. Why does this happen? The women saw me, or they would have walked right into me- right?
Here are the three most popular excuses women, and particularly women, have for not making eye contact- and they are all just excuses.
Paranoia. “I don’t want every guy to think I’m attracted to him.” Men are not going to think you’re attracted to them because you merely acknowledged their existence. Men are just visual animals- if you asked any man to create their perfect girlfriend, they would first go into a physical description before they described personality. If men look at you it’s because they are physically attracted to you, this is an opportunity- try having a conversation first before you judge them. Here is the other one I hear: “I’m in public and they’re strangers- what if they’re psychos or stalkers?” Fact: there is statistically a greater chance of getting struck by lightning, than having an alleged ”psycho” misinterpret your ‘hello’ as a sexual ‘buy signal’ and they stalk you all the way to your business in the middle of the day- this is not going to happen.
“Men Should Make the First Move” The irony behind this statement is that it’s most often said by single women; my typical retort is: “well, how is your waiting strategy working out for you?” I do somewhat agree that men should be making the first move, but only because I’m one of the 5% of men out there who will approach anyone, even those who particularly look unapproachable. The fact is men will not approach you if your body language says “stay away”. Staring at the ground, making love to your Blackberry, avoiding eye contact, or crossing your arms are not buy signals for men. Even the most confident man will hesitate approaching a woman he’s attracted to if she looks like she’s unavailable, uninterested, or cold. Look, ladies, the only work you have to do is display body language that says you’re available. If you make eye contact with a man and smile he will come over- I call that ‘encouragement’. Learn to control your body language- show everyone that you’re available and men will want to meet you. You, however, can control your dating life by encouraging the attractive men to approach you by smiling, making eye contact, saying “hello”, and just flirting.
Location: “I go to meet men elsewhere, when I’m dressed up and go out.” Isn’t it better to casually run into a local man who frequents the same spots you do on a regular basis than give a total stranger, likely under the influence of alcohol, your number at a bar? Men don’t have an agenda when they’re at Wholefoods, or walking back to the office from lunch. Also, if you see an attractive man at Wholefoods, you’re likely to see him again because he’s a local- isn’t this convenient too? If you’re attracted to a man, flirt with him, and encourage him to come over. The best places to meet men are those places that are part of your daily routine!
I try to be brief- but it never works! The message here is that if you’re not making yourself available, you’re passing up several opportunities everyday to meet the man of your dreams, or make new friends. I’m not asking you to do a lot of work- just be approachable and you’ll double your chances of having a man you’re attracted to, approach you. If you are friendly, we are friendly; if you are cold- we are cold. Get your eyes off the ground and away from your iPhone- observe who’s looking at you, and attract the ones you want to meet. I have a menu of courses just for women, in the “Women Only” drop down box at the top of my home page.
So, now you understand my mindset. What actually happened on the way to my PO Box was unfortunately way too common. I passed exactly 42 women during my roundtrip- only two women actually acknowledged I was even there! I got one hello, and one head nod- all the others didn’t even make eye contact with me! Some had their heads buried in their BlackBerrys, or their eyes were glued to the ground. Now to add some comedy to my story, I am actually a good looking guy, tall, a good dresser and in great shape too. I’m only saying this because I think it would be more of a reason for the opposite sex to at least make eye contact. Why does this happen? The women saw me, or they would have walked right into me- right?
Here are the three most popular excuses women, and particularly women, have for not making eye contact- and they are all just excuses.
Paranoia. “I don’t want every guy to think I’m attracted to him.” Men are not going to think you’re attracted to them because you merely acknowledged their existence. Men are just visual animals- if you asked any man to create their perfect girlfriend, they would first go into a physical description before they described personality. If men look at you it’s because they are physically attracted to you, this is an opportunity- try having a conversation first before you judge them. Here is the other one I hear: “I’m in public and they’re strangers- what if they’re psychos or stalkers?” Fact: there is statistically a greater chance of getting struck by lightning, than having an alleged ”psycho” misinterpret your ‘hello’ as a sexual ‘buy signal’ and they stalk you all the way to your business in the middle of the day- this is not going to happen.
“Men Should Make the First Move” The irony behind this statement is that it’s most often said by single women; my typical retort is: “well, how is your waiting strategy working out for you?” I do somewhat agree that men should be making the first move, but only because I’m one of the 5% of men out there who will approach anyone, even those who particularly look unapproachable. The fact is men will not approach you if your body language says “stay away”. Staring at the ground, making love to your Blackberry, avoiding eye contact, or crossing your arms are not buy signals for men. Even the most confident man will hesitate approaching a woman he’s attracted to if she looks like she’s unavailable, uninterested, or cold. Look, ladies, the only work you have to do is display body language that says you’re available. If you make eye contact with a man and smile he will come over- I call that ‘encouragement’. Learn to control your body language- show everyone that you’re available and men will want to meet you. You, however, can control your dating life by encouraging the attractive men to approach you by smiling, making eye contact, saying “hello”, and just flirting.
Location: “I go to meet men elsewhere, when I’m dressed up and go out.” Isn’t it better to casually run into a local man who frequents the same spots you do on a regular basis than give a total stranger, likely under the influence of alcohol, your number at a bar? Men don’t have an agenda when they’re at Wholefoods, or walking back to the office from lunch. Also, if you see an attractive man at Wholefoods, you’re likely to see him again because he’s a local- isn’t this convenient too? If you’re attracted to a man, flirt with him, and encourage him to come over. The best places to meet men are those places that are part of your daily routine!
I try to be brief- but it never works! The message here is that if you’re not making yourself available, you’re passing up several opportunities everyday to meet the man of your dreams, or make new friends. I’m not asking you to do a lot of work- just be approachable and you’ll double your chances of having a man you’re attracted to, approach you. If you are friendly, we are friendly; if you are cold- we are cold. Get your eyes off the ground and away from your iPhone- observe who’s looking at you, and attract the ones you want to meet. I have a menu of courses just for women, in the “Women Only” drop down box at the top of my home page.
Tuesday, March 16
Should I Have a Wingman?
A lot of people ask me my opinion about having a wingman- and my answer varies, but only slightly. Lemme explain.
If you have “approach anxiety” because you don’t have the confidence to meet people on your own, then having a wingman can be beneficial. Your wingman however should be your role model- someone you ‘aspire’ to be because they can approach any woman and start an engaging conversation. Find a friend who is a natural conversationalist, a natural socialite- look at how he walks, talks, and most importantly observe his body language. A man that naturally exudes confidence attracts women- this is the man you want to learn from- he should be your wingman. Remember- CONFIDENCE attracts women. Standing there, staring at a woman is creepy and uncomfortable- she will notice your hesitation and lack of confidence and likely exhibit ‘uncomfortable’ body language if you even approach at all.
Women, you should find a ‘wingman’ who knows how to flirt. Find a friend who knows how to smile, who knows how to use her body language to get guys to come her way. Watch the way she walks, the way she enters the room- study her body language- what is it about her that attracts men? She will certainly know how to ‘work’ the room to find a man who can catch her attention, and keep it. She will be fun, and is your first choice for a wingman. As I explained in my last blog, ‘women’s night out’ will only deter most men from approaching you.
Most guys go wrong by selecting a wingman of equal or even less talent. Ultimately they both end up leaning against the wall, with their hands in their pockets staring at women, making comments all night: “wow, that woman is beautiful, after this drink I’m going to go talk to her.” But neither guy ever makes a move and they spend the entire night elbowing each other in the ribs, gawking at the women. Better yet are the excuses I hear, like: “my game isn’t on tonight, so maybe you should talk to her.” What’s worse is the consoling between wingmen when one gets shot down: “That’s okay buddy, she wasn’t as hot as I thought she was anyway”- sour grapes. A Wingman is supposed to help you improve your skills through constructive criticism and leading by example.
The best answer to the wingman question is to not have one at all. If I’m out on my own, I don’t have to put up with my friend’s thoughts on the woman I’m attracted to, and want to approach- I don’t need his approval. Frankly, women see a man on his own as a confident man. Would an insecure man wander into a social scene and approach multiple women unless he had confidence? I also don’t need any wingman support because I’m smart about ‘where’ I meet women. I stick to my comfort places like the beach where I am an authority and therefore very confident. A woman watching me on the beach would immediately recognize me as being very relaxed- if I approach her she will therefore be very relaxed which makes conversation very easy. If I connect with her, asking for her number or a date will only be a natural progression.
Women- as I explained before in other blogs you are twice as likely to be approached by a man if you are not part of a group, or if you are by yourself. The best advice I can give to any woman looking to meet men is to stick with your comfort places. If you are comfortable and relaxed, your body language will show it- you will appear “open and approachable” and men will come your way. When you’re ‘open’ you gain complete control over ‘who’ you attract by throwing smiles, looks, and flirty words in their direction.
If you can, go without a wingman unless you need some pointers- then find a wingman you can emulate.
If you have “approach anxiety” because you don’t have the confidence to meet people on your own, then having a wingman can be beneficial. Your wingman however should be your role model- someone you ‘aspire’ to be because they can approach any woman and start an engaging conversation. Find a friend who is a natural conversationalist, a natural socialite- look at how he walks, talks, and most importantly observe his body language. A man that naturally exudes confidence attracts women- this is the man you want to learn from- he should be your wingman. Remember- CONFIDENCE attracts women. Standing there, staring at a woman is creepy and uncomfortable- she will notice your hesitation and lack of confidence and likely exhibit ‘uncomfortable’ body language if you even approach at all.
Women, you should find a ‘wingman’ who knows how to flirt. Find a friend who knows how to smile, who knows how to use her body language to get guys to come her way. Watch the way she walks, the way she enters the room- study her body language- what is it about her that attracts men? She will certainly know how to ‘work’ the room to find a man who can catch her attention, and keep it. She will be fun, and is your first choice for a wingman. As I explained in my last blog, ‘women’s night out’ will only deter most men from approaching you.
Most guys go wrong by selecting a wingman of equal or even less talent. Ultimately they both end up leaning against the wall, with their hands in their pockets staring at women, making comments all night: “wow, that woman is beautiful, after this drink I’m going to go talk to her.” But neither guy ever makes a move and they spend the entire night elbowing each other in the ribs, gawking at the women. Better yet are the excuses I hear, like: “my game isn’t on tonight, so maybe you should talk to her.” What’s worse is the consoling between wingmen when one gets shot down: “That’s okay buddy, she wasn’t as hot as I thought she was anyway”- sour grapes. A Wingman is supposed to help you improve your skills through constructive criticism and leading by example.
The best answer to the wingman question is to not have one at all. If I’m out on my own, I don’t have to put up with my friend’s thoughts on the woman I’m attracted to, and want to approach- I don’t need his approval. Frankly, women see a man on his own as a confident man. Would an insecure man wander into a social scene and approach multiple women unless he had confidence? I also don’t need any wingman support because I’m smart about ‘where’ I meet women. I stick to my comfort places like the beach where I am an authority and therefore very confident. A woman watching me on the beach would immediately recognize me as being very relaxed- if I approach her she will therefore be very relaxed which makes conversation very easy. If I connect with her, asking for her number or a date will only be a natural progression.
Women- as I explained before in other blogs you are twice as likely to be approached by a man if you are not part of a group, or if you are by yourself. The best advice I can give to any woman looking to meet men is to stick with your comfort places. If you are comfortable and relaxed, your body language will show it- you will appear “open and approachable” and men will come your way. When you’re ‘open’ you gain complete control over ‘who’ you attract by throwing smiles, looks, and flirty words in their direction.
If you can, go without a wingman unless you need some pointers- then find a wingman you can emulate.
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