Pickup Lines

I’ve heard just about every pickup line there is- some are actually funny, but none are effective if you want to find a quality woman. Men, imagine you are that attractive woman you see at Rittenhouse Square every weekend- now imagine all the recycled pickup lines she hears. She has probably heard every pickup line ever invented. You think she’ll be impressed when she hears you regurgitate some memorized line you borrowed from a friend, who heard the same line from his friend, who actually stole it from the internet or a movie?

Not only are pickup lines unoriginal, they are all dead ends. Suppose you do make her laugh when you approach her and say “Hey, do you mind if I flirt with you for a second?” Ok, she laughs- then what? Do you have another follow up line you memorized? When does it all end until you actually have to have a meaningful conversation? Guys, women aren’t looking for unoriginal boys, they are looking for mature confident men with substance and depth- authentic men. Pickup lines prove you have no personality at all, which is why you lifted someone else’s ‘dead horse’ of an introduction.

Have you ever seen another man get completely rejected using a pickup line? It’s very embarrassing not just for him, but for all men within earshot who get hit with ‘rejection shrapnel’- you can tell who got wounded by their disgusted facial expressions. When you get a chance, keep your eyes on a single attractive woman in a social setting. Watch the men that approach her and watch their body language and their walk as they approach- you’ll notice those who use pickup lines dont walk like a confident Clint Eastwood, they walk with their hands in their pockets and look very insecure. The moment women hear a pickup line, they’re gone- you’re an amateur.

So, what do you say when you approach a woman? You don’t have to say much at all if your approach is cool and confident. Women can tell if you’re uncomfortable or anxious, and it will make them feel the same way. If you’re nervous, they’ll be nervous, if you’re rude, they’ll be rude. But if your approach, like Clint Eastwood, is cool and confident you only have to make a friendly observation to get the ball rolling. Trust me, they know the idea is just to have a conversation so you can get to know each other. Saying practically anything with confidence is acceptable. Just talk about what’s going on around you at the moment (observational), or ask a question about something she’s doing: “Do you always get that milk stout, I was wondering if I should give it a try?” Something as simple as this works well- it’s not contrived, it’s about something in the moment, and it’s very nonthreatening. These three elements make your conversation very natural, and she’ll be very comfortable- this is what both of you want. If you’re wondering what you’re going to say after your initial chit chat, here’s a hint: just listen to her. Her response may give you clues about what to talk about next. What if she replies: ”My grandfather used to make his own milk stout- it’s my favorite.” Imagine the many directions you can take the conversation with a response like that! Just listen to what she says, don’t think about what you’re going to say next as she’s talking- pay attention to her and everything will come naturally.

I’ve used the most simple observations to make an introduction. I saw a woman staring at a drink menu and I could tell she was having trouble making a decision by the expression on her face, so I walked over to her and said: “It looks like you can’t figure out what to get. What do you usually like?” It’s almost like I came over and rescued her. She gladly asked for my advice and the conversation took off. It’s just that simple. I didn’t plan or rehearse anything, so everything I said just smoothly rolled off my tongue.

You will not attract a quality woman using memorized conversation starters or pickup lines- women can smell a fraud a mile away. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to have a perfect conversation, just live in the moment and learn to have relaxed conversations that will allow both of you to open up and have a fun experience.

Women: Flirt Like Zita!

I decided I’m going to do podcasts every week, maybe I’ll make it Thursdays?

Anyway, this blog is just for the women! I have a friend I met years ago in the water when I was surfing- if you remember the beach is one of my comfort places. Her name is Zita; she was born in Italy from Italian and Greek parents, and came here to America when she was a teen. I learned a lot about how women flirt and attract men through Zita- she is still, to this day, the first name that comes to mind when think of a woman who has absolute control over her dating life. Zita could absolutely control men through her flirting- she was able to direct her attraction signals to any man in the room and lure them into approaching her. This blog and pocast is a must for any woman.

Please listen to the podcast I attached below. ANY woman can learn A LOT from Zita:
How to Flirt effectively
How to use body language to send signals to men
How to control the room and the men in it
How to have complete control over her dating life.

Women really do have the power to determine who approaches them- shouldn’t you harness this power to entice the man you want to approach you?

Please feel free to make any suggestions for my future blogs and podcasts- I love to take requests. Enjoy this podcast:

Ladies, Are You Available?

I took a leisurely walk to check my PO Box on Chestnut street as I do usually every day during the lunch hour when people spill out into the street. I make a habit of observing everything around me; the sights, the sounds and especially the people. As I make my way down 3rd I give a look and a smile to everyone that passes me by, and maybe even a “How are you?” if you give me a head nod. Every time someone acknowledges my ‘hello’, or even my existence, I look at the situation like it’s another opportunity to meet someone new. I’ve met a lot of people waiting at a red light, just striking up a conversation about a local restaurant, or asking their opinion about something timely in Philly. Every time I make myself available to have a conversation, I create an opportunity to meet someone new. I create opportunities!

So, now you understand my mindset. What actually happened on the way to my PO Box was unfortunately way too common. I passed exactly 42 women during my roundtrip- only two women actually acknowledged I was even there! I got one hello, and one head nod- all the others didn’t even make eye contact with me! Some had their heads buried in their BlackBerrys, or their eyes were glued to the ground. Now to add some comedy to my story, I am actually a good looking guy, tall, a good dresser and in great shape too. I’m only saying this because I think it would be more of a reason for the opposite sex to at least make eye contact. Why does this happen? The women saw me, or they would have walked right into me- right?

Here are the three most popular excuses women, and particularly women, have for not making eye contact- and they are all just excuses.
Paranoia. “I don’t want every guy to think I’m attracted to him.” Men are not going to think you’re attracted to them because you merely acknowledged their existence. Men are just visual animals- if you asked any man to create their perfect girlfriend, they would first go into a physical description before they described personality. If men look at you it’s because they are physically attracted to you, this is an opportunity- try having a conversation first before you judge them. Here is the other one I hear: “I’m in public and they’re strangers- what if they’re psychos or stalkers?” Fact: there is statistically a greater chance of getting struck by lightning, than having an alleged ”psycho” misinterpret your ‘hello’ as a sexual ‘buy signal’ and they stalk you all the way to your business in the middle of the day- this is not going to happen.
“Men Should Make the First Move” The irony behind this statement is that it’s most often said by single women; my typical retort is: “well, how is your waiting strategy working out for you?” I do somewhat agree that men should be making the first move, but only because I’m one of the 5% of men out there who will approach anyone, even those who particularly look unapproachable. The fact is men will not approach you if your body language says “stay away”. Staring at the ground, making love to your Blackberry, avoiding eye contact, or crossing your arms are not buy signals for men. Even the most confident man will hesitate approaching a woman he’s attracted to if she looks like she’s unavailable, uninterested, or cold. Look, ladies, the only work you have to do is display body language that says you’re available. If you make eye contact with a man and smile he will come over- I call that ‘encouragement’. Learn to control your body language- show everyone that you’re available and men will want to meet you. You, however, can control your dating life by encouraging the attractive men to approach you by smiling, making eye contact, saying “hello”, and just flirting.
Location: “I go to meet men elsewhere, when I’m dressed up and go out.” Isn’t it better to casually run into a local man who frequents the same spots you do on a regular basis than give a total stranger, likely under the influence of alcohol, your number at a bar? Men don’t have an agenda when they’re at Wholefoods, or walking back to the office from lunch. Also, if you see an attractive man at Wholefoods, you’re likely to see him again because he’s a local- isn’t this convenient too? If you’re attracted to a man, flirt with him, and encourage him to come over. The best places to meet men are those places that are part of your daily routine!

I try to be brief- but it never works! The message here is that if you’re not making yourself available, you’re passing up several opportunities everyday to meet the man of your dreams, or make new friends. I’m not asking you to do a lot of work- just be approachable and you’ll double your chances of having a man you’re attracted to, approach you. If you are friendly, we are friendly; if you are cold- we are cold. Get your eyes off the ground and away from your iPhone- observe who’s looking at you, and attract the ones you want to meet. I have a menu of courses just for women, in the “Women Only” drop down box at the top of my home page.