Pickup Lines

I’ve heard just about every pickup line there is- some are actually funny, but none are effective if you want to find a quality woman. Men, imagine you are that attractive woman you see at Rittenhouse Square every weekend- now imagine all the recycled pickup lines she hears. She has probably heard every pickup line ever invented. You think she’ll be impressed when she hears you regurgitate some memorized line you borrowed from a friend, who heard the same line from his friend, who actually stole it from the internet or a movie?

Not only are pickup lines unoriginal, they are all dead ends. Suppose you do make her laugh when you approach her and say “Hey, do you mind if I flirt with you for a second?” Ok, she laughs- then what? Do you have another follow up line you memorized? When does it all end until you actually have to have a meaningful conversation? Guys, women aren’t looking for unoriginal boys, they are looking for mature confident men with substance and depth- authentic men. Pickup lines prove you have no personality at all, which is why you lifted someone else’s ‘dead horse’ of an introduction.

Have you ever seen another man get completely rejected using a pickup line? It’s very embarrassing not just for him, but for all men within earshot who get hit with ‘rejection shrapnel’- you can tell who got wounded by their disgusted facial expressions. When you get a chance, keep your eyes on a single attractive woman in a social setting. Watch the men that approach her and watch their body language and their walk as they approach- you’ll notice those who use pickup lines dont walk like a confident Clint Eastwood, they walk with their hands in their pockets and look very insecure. The moment women hear a pickup line, they’re gone- you’re an amateur.

So, what do you say when you approach a woman? You don’t have to say much at all if your approach is cool and confident. Women can tell if you’re uncomfortable or anxious, and it will make them feel the same way. If you’re nervous, they’ll be nervous, if you’re rude, they’ll be rude. But if your approach, like Clint Eastwood, is cool and confident you only have to make a friendly observation to get the ball rolling. Trust me, they know the idea is just to have a conversation so you can get to know each other. Saying practically anything with confidence is acceptable. Just talk about what’s going on around you at the moment (observational), or ask a question about something she’s doing: “Do you always get that milk stout, I was wondering if I should give it a try?” Something as simple as this works well- it’s not contrived, it’s about something in the moment, and it’s very nonthreatening. These three elements make your conversation very natural, and she’ll be very comfortable- this is what both of you want. If you’re wondering what you’re going to say after your initial chit chat, here’s a hint: just listen to her. Her response may give you clues about what to talk about next. What if she replies: ”My grandfather used to make his own milk stout- it’s my favorite.” Imagine the many directions you can take the conversation with a response like that! Just listen to what she says, don’t think about what you’re going to say next as she’s talking- pay attention to her and everything will come naturally.

I’ve used the most simple observations to make an introduction. I saw a woman staring at a drink menu and I could tell she was having trouble making a decision by the expression on her face, so I walked over to her and said: “It looks like you can’t figure out what to get. What do you usually like?” It’s almost like I came over and rescued her. She gladly asked for my advice and the conversation took off. It’s just that simple. I didn’t plan or rehearse anything, so everything I said just smoothly rolled off my tongue.

You will not attract a quality woman using memorized conversation starters or pickup lines- women can smell a fraud a mile away. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to have a perfect conversation, just live in the moment and learn to have relaxed conversations that will allow both of you to open up and have a fun experience.